Here is a poem from the book I Could Chew On This And Other Poems By Dogs. Thank god Oshie doesn’t do any of this.

“The plants are torn

The garbage strewn

The wires chewed

The couch and I had a fight

Your bed is soaked

Your liquor spilled

Your TV smashed

Your laptop no longer has any vowels

There’s a smartphone in the toaster

There’s a toaster in the toilet

There’s a toilet in the hallway

There’s underwear in my mouth

I went places I should never go

I saw a side of myself I should never see

I said things to the cat I can never take back

So please don’t ever leave again”
– Francesco Marciuliano